he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
