Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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