Cold hands, warm shart.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
