I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
