I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
