Sponge bath it is.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
