Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
its liver damage thursday
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
