I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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