hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
