She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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