Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
