that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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