Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
