After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
