i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this will be a night to untag.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
