I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
