Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
