that's an acceptable place to lick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
