apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
