i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
