Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
