cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You pole danced in your parka.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
