I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
