just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So much rum. So many feels.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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