You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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