Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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