just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
