So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
