OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
