i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
