the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
