just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
