Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
