Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
