his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
