So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
