that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
