Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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