Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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