I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
