Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
