I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
