So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
