# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
