i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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