all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
