My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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