he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
