My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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