Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
