My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
