I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
