ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
