is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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