come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
