I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
