I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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